10 simple rules to fail your Fail

I like fail videos as much as the next guy. Whenever I do something stupid, I’m reminded that there are people doing things much more stupid than me out there.

But since there seems to be a gazillion fail videos on Youtube, I couldn’t help but notice how some of them fail themselves at being funny. Not that the videos are lame –although sometimes they are, but mostly because of the way they are edited and presented. So I came up with my own little list of the 10 most common fails in Fail Videos. In no particular order, they are:

10) When filming a friend of yours who thinks he can jump a bridge on a unicycle while on fire, make sure to aim the camera anywhere but the subject at the most crucial moment. No one wants to see your friend crash, we’d much rather see blur-sky-grass-shoes-grass-sky-blur and back at the subject when it’s too late. Make sure to add comments like “Oh my f… God, did you see this?” just to rub it in.

9) When making a Fail Compilation, it’s always a good idea to use material originally filmed back in 1983, when VHS was the norm. Steer clear from videos that are sharp and clear! If the video you want to show is more recent and technologically advanced, a rule of thumb is to use the copy of a copy of a copy so the end result is totally unclear.

8) A Fail Compilation wouldn’t be complete without material you stole from another compilation. It is unlikely that someone who likes that type of video will be looking for anything else from anyone else. Heck, I have even seen clips being repeated within the SAME compilation. I guess he felt we were too dumb to notice.

7) Rhythm is of no importance. Say you want to show a car accident from a dash cam POV. Why not show an annoying 20 seconds of nothing happening before the accident actually occurs? Then, make sure you cut the good stuff about 2 to 3 seconds too short.

6) Another take on this is to show a very short clip, no more than a second or two. It has to be about one second into the action and 3 seconds before it ends. Bonus point is the image is blurred. The idea is making sure YOU know what’s on it, but not the people watching it. I call those WTF.

5) Perception is everything. You’ve been making Fail Compilations for a while and you have left over takes that were too lame to make the cut? Put them all together and call it “The most incredible fail compilation in the world.” Keep in mind that whatever you put on Youtube has to be “The most”, a description of your choosing, followed with “in the world” or “Ever”.

4) While you’re at it, you want to make sure the thumbnail picture representing your video has nothing to do with the actual content. Images of half- naked girls or a car on fire are good, as long as they are not seen in the compilation. False advertising has worked wonders for many companies over the years.

3) OK, you’ve tried hard but you still ended up with a good Fail Compilation. Don’t despair, you can still ruin it by adding shitty electro/ghetto music as the soundtrack. If it’s annoying enough, your goal can still be accomplished.

2) They say “laughter is the best medicine”. They also say “too much of a good thing is bad”. If you’re filming something that turns out to be Fail material, you have to laugh hysterically as if this was the funniest thing that ever happened on earth. Bonus points if you have a very high pitch, annoying laugh. Extra if you’re still laughing 20 seconds after the action took place.

1) Pop-ups! Where would we be without them? Have annoying pop-up ads for all your other videos come up all over the screen. This way, we’ll have to click on the little “X” to remove them and while we do, miss all the action. You can add comments you feel are witty and add to the viewer experience. My favorite are “OMG!” and “Watch this idiot”, as it’s not something that would readily come to mind while watching a fail compilation. Bonus points if the pop-ups are in Russian.